Five-Day Countdown to Valentine’s Day: Day 2

It’s Friday Eve, commonly known as Thursday! We are almost to Valentine’s Day!  As we get ready to ‘feel the love’ on Valentine’s Day, there is one area that supports the whole functionality of our marriages.  One area that is the foundation of the way our relationship–and by extension, the way our whole family–works.

Domestic Tranquility

Whatever domestic arrangements you made between the two of you when you first got married, you and your husband probably had an idea about how couples lived, and if you did not talk about it beforehand, there might have been some (ahem) misunderstandings. Eventually, you reach a mutual agreement and, spoken or not, you expect each person in the partnership to do their part while you do your part and everybody remains happy. Did you agree to stay home and manage the home and family while he works? Did you agree to work outside the home and help to provide income? You know he hates it when you squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle, so you try not to? Does he love it when you retrieve the mail and deal with it? Does he like to have it laid out for his review? If both people are doing their part, you build a life together that you love and keep nagging to a minimum.

But let’s face it, seasons change, kids are added and roles change. More activities happen and jobs and careers change and roles change some more. They go to college and things change again. Tempers flare. Maybe it is time to re-visit your family’s domestic arrangements and update the expectations.

So in preparation for Valentine’s Day, ask your husband one of these questions today:

  • Do you look forward to coming home after work? Why or why not?

  • I’ve seen how much your workload has changed recently. How can I help?

  • We are both overloaded, is it time to make some changes with our domestic responsibilities that make it easier? Trade duties?  Redistribute? Hire out some of the duties?

If you enter the discussion with a realistic expectation of how to make things work best for everyone, it can be a positive, bonding moment. Pssst…ask for a housekeeper!

Heavenly Father:  Please give us wisdom to examine our domestic arrangements and have a peaceful, productive conversation about what we might change to make things easier, or give us the same mind to leave what is working alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
 

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